Learning to take care of Myself Series : 1

Exhausted, that is the word I am using this very late evening to describe myself. My life right now is full to the brim, things are so tight that I feel like I'm living in a sardine can. Today I had conversations with several important people in my life that led me to the above conclusion. I want to learn how to take care of myself once again. I don't want to complain, everyone has their burdens to carry however one must listen when one's body starts complaining. I am currently a student , a partime- store assistant, president to a campus fellowship, youth leader and a student representative. I am EXHAUSTED. At the beginning of the academic year  I planned to  quietly study whilst continuing to do the work I value most, the work of God. Due to unforeseen blows to my finances I  found myself looking for a job however the shift pattern is not convenient in any shape or form. I am an ambitious person, I want to do everything in my power to achieve my main goal, which is to become an individual who is capable of making lasting change  however such a busy lifestyle is starting to have a detrimental effect on my health.

My Turning point.
For the past 2 days though I slept enough I have woken up very tired, yesterday I left a lecture in such a daze and forced myself to work in the evening. My loved ones and acquaintances  have advised to a blood test however  I am very squeamish. Thank God I  know a very  patient nurse who understands my fears and puts me at ease, I must buy her some flowers next time I go to see her. I'm a fully grown adult and for someone who is also part of the health work force I know how annoying it is to have a person as squeamish as me walk through the doors, to top it off I have veins that dance about like Elvis Presley. 

Identifying the My issues
1) My diet is a mess - I met up with one of my friends today who told me that I  must stop eating the way I do and  though it may be time consuming and slightly more expensive to eat healthy I must give it a good go. At the end of our conversation we came to an agreement, I will send her pictures of my meals and confess if  I eat something she would not be proud of.

2) Something's gotta Give: I might have to take a break from being the youth leader, I am less effective in my current state but I still have to make peace with this idea. It is not sitting well with me at all ! I can't decide what to let go of.

I am starting a journey today, I have never consciously set out to take care of myself but as I age I don't want my bad habits to grow with me..

Freind or Foe

Recently I have been wondering about a certain "friend" in my life, its been really strange you know. I feel like I have good reason to think that this person feels forced to be friends with me. okay lets review the signs?
1) Does not say hi by themselves
2) only speaks properly when other friends are around( the ones that he gets along with)
3) sees me obviously sitting by myself but chooses to sit behind me
 I don't like this type of situation, i am all up for True friendship... i don't like pretend friends, its such a waste of time. I've been thinking of just turning around one day and just saying " you don't have to force yourself to be a friend of mine, just cause we have friends in common". As for me I have no issues with the guy, and am called to love everybody. Therefore I keep treating him nicely, but its getting a bit tiring. On the other hand I guess others people behaviour should not influence my behaviour and alter my good intentions. But I am human, i really do notice it. ahh well... I  think one of these days I may end up saying something, LOL it would probably make things awkward for the friendship group. lol I honestly dislike causing friction! but its cool, its coming to the end of this semester. I have to concentrate on Exams  now.

Are we friends?

someone once said

if you ever have

to ask

this question you

know

the answer already.

Crazy Crush!

I and a friend went for a meal  after  an  exam today, it was a nice break from all the stress of studying and anxiety lol. We got talking and ended up on  topic of relationships, currently my friend is in a relationship and they are so perfect together, she found a really nice gentleman. Lol .. I say gentleman when they are really nice. We discussed our past crazy crushes which was funny and also observed how people rush into things when they are not ready. I have not been in a relationship yet and I don't want to because the me right now at this moment is definitely not ready lol. But one thing I've noticed about my previous crushes is how intense they were.I indirectly hinted this to my friend lol. When you crush on someone you are so blinded by the false image you have of them,  you can't even see the real person. That's what I found when  my crushes ended, it's not that my crush had changed but because I had cleared the rosy smog that blocked my view of who he really was I truly saw him for......wait for it who he really was!. What am I trying to say?  

From observations of myself I think people when they first like each other should take time to clear any rosy smog clouding their view of the person they admire. Of course not everyone is like me but i see this as a pointer to work on, you don't want any ugly surprises when you are in the middle of a relationship. That's why the statement "you've really changed", is sometimes invalid. Its not that they have changed, its beacuse you didn't take your time to really SEE .

 my conclusion - Honesty is Key , :D I love chats with friends they always get you to think.

And to be honest am also at an advantage because I believe that God will help me out the the time comes.

Positivity is Key

Today  my house mate called me down to have a chat, she started to make advise me saying that  I was being too negative about my life in several aspects and my  negativity was affecting her. I didn't realise this until she pointed it out, and it must be quite bad if its to the extent of affecting her? wow! after she spoke I thought about it... and she was right. so I started to come up with ways to be more positive. MY SOLUTION: The only way to win against negative thoughts is to not tolerate them. So therefore when they come in my mind i must counteract them with positivity :D
MY POSITIVITY IS
philipians 4:8

One Down 4 To Go!

Ok so my first exam is done, finito, behind me! As usual I was nervous and fidgety. The exam room itself was daunting but once I finally found my seat, I took a deep breath and made myself comfortable. Traditionally  there's always someone's alarm that goes off during the exam.. and this exam was no different lol



The paper was okay but my fate will be decided when I get my results. What you sew is what you reap. :D I'll Defo work harder for my next exams. Promise! lol

This is Crazy!!

Okay so earlier I said that I would make this blog more about God and it would generate more traffic than ever, so because I trusted in him in this little thing and advanced he actually came and did it for me. ARE YOU KIDDING! I had in the space of 10 minutes more views than I have had in a whole week… that’s crazy. No wonder the bible says that if you are faithful in the little things you will be faithful in the larger ones. Luke16:10
Lol so this means if I God to use me  change the world I have to start being faithful first in the small things in my life, like prayer and Sunday school e.tc. :D time to work on myself! Am excited!

Perseverance

I'm on my way back from work, contemplating if i should head straight to the library or Sleep. On my way to work at 5.30am I saw people in there.. like studying, I was not surprised but it was impressive to see. Now on my journey back the same Asian guy I saw earlier studying by the window !! that's what i call perseverance,  and I need some of that in my life. In recent post talked about how  stressed i am because  of upcoming  exams, well to be honest it's completely my fault. when I had the chance and time to study i didn't. There were some issues going on at the time but i don't think it was an excuse. I let myself be engulfed by laziness and sloth when i could have easily prayed and asked for help. Sighs.. If I let you know the many times i have done this, My late revision history you would be shocked. But at every time God has been merciful and allowed me to do well, like really well. I am currently in my first year of university and these are my first set of exams. As you read my posts you will find out that i am far from perfect and there's many things about me that you would think... why? But I have no issue God is strong in my weakness and as long as I have the faith that he is there I know that in time I will Change. Ack my eyes are soo heavy!!

Work

My shift starts at 5.30am this morning, i seriously need to get to sleep. How do i feel about work?? well its really early but I get away with ALOT. like really I am not bragging but my employers are seriously nice people also i also think that God is covering for me ALOT. I mean some days I just don't show up either because i woke up late or just being really irresponsible. I should be soo fired, but I can't lie I think I love this Job. There's a real love for it in my heart, like i genuinely want to do a good job for them and not be lazy but it probably seems to them that i am taking them from granted. I've decided that from now I will definitely try to make it on the days I am on.....